Struggles of an Advocate

How do you help people who don't help themselves?

I cannot figure out which is greater: the struggle to advocate or the struggle to find a reason to advocate. It's very difficult to fight on behalf of another who sees your fighting as fruitless or empty. It's even more difficult to fight on behalf of another who fights you back. Sometimes I feel the struggle to fight is so much greater than the struggle to not fight. It's as if I was initially guilt-tripped into fighting this hard fight. And now that I'm in the heat of the battle, I'm not quite sure if the guilt is enough to keep me here. The reasons why I should continue to fight far outweigh the reasons to go elsewhere.

It's funny how this morning I actually remembered to pray to my GOD as I walked through the doors of this battlefield to make me see as he sees and to love as he loves. And yet, this day seems to have shown me and made me feel more of what I would expect the devil to see and love. However, as I'm thinking and writing about this, I guess my GOD did answer my cry this morning because in a way he is just as fed up and broken over the condition of his people. He is just as broken over how horrible these conditions are and he feels the struggle of fighting a fight that is unrewarded. Thank you Jesus for that.

In all of these feelings and emotions, there is no doubt about the goodness of Christ, nor is there doubt that he has placed me here for his purposes. I just have to say, this is one (of the many) day that I have to throw my hands up to him and say-- LORD, do what you do, because I am just following your lead in this messed up world.


Thank you for your grace.